In the spirit of thankfulness this week, I thought I would share something I am thankful for. Me. Despite an overinflated sense of confidence growing up, it took me until I was probably 25 to really be happy and content with who I am. Not that I was unhappy before, but I would let my insecurities control me too much. I have what I like to call uniquities which are some of my qualities that really make me who I am. For a long while, I felt insecure about some of these uniquities. I am sure those closest to me could create a much more in depth list, but I thought I would share a few here.
I watch the same movies and TV shows over and over again.
I love predictability. I like knowing what is going to happen. Therefore, I watch the same movies (not so many movies anymore, but still the same ones) and TV shows over and over again. I've watched Scandal 3 times in less than 365 days (partly because its so confusing.) I couldn't tell you how many times I've binged on Gossip Girl or watched the Harry Potter movies. Sometimes, I branch out and watch something new and occasionally I will enjoy it (hi, I am obsessed with How To Get Away With Murder) but most of the time, I really enjoy the comfort of predicability.
I watch Friends every single night to fall asleep.
My freshman year of college (pre Netflix era) I collected and watched all 10 Seasons of Friends. Since then, I've navigated my way through a few other series but when it comes time to go to sleep, I need Friends. I don't even watch it. I just need the noise and most of the time I don't even make it to the theme sound (I am one of those people who fall asleep as soon as they lay down) but I still watch it every single night. Slightly embarrassing to admit, but I love it.
I love the Real Housewives.
I am not the biggest fan of reality TV as a genre. Once Laguna Beach and The Hills ended, it all seemed pretty pointless to me until I met the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I know its garbage. I am sure it is probably all staged. But I LOVE it. I've even made up my own intro. One day...
Ordering the same thing off of the menu at restaurants.
Again with the predictability. Once I've been to a restaurant (always looking up the menu beforehand) and found something I like, I order the same thing every single time I go. Some have commented that they find this annoying, I find it comforting.
I don't like drinking.
This one probably took the longest for me to find comfort in as being in my early (now mid) 20s, the social scene seems to revolve around drinking. I did not really start drinking until college and while I pretended to enjoy nights out in downtown Clemson with my friends, I never really enjoyed the drinking aspect of it. I never built up tolerance and always felt pretty miserable the next day. Post college, I found that a lot of social situations still revolved around alcohol. As it was the status quo, I would go and was always trying to pretend that I wasn't still nursing my first pom-tini. I don't understand the purpose of drinking to get drunk or drinking something you don't like. Why should you have force yourself to acquire a taste for something? (I've never had a beer. I've taken sips of beer but have never drank an entire can/glass/etc. of beer.) Now here is the exception to my dislike of alcohol... wine. I love wine. Not in the come home and drink it every night kind of way (I wouldn't want to see the punishment for that from my trainer) but in the I enjoy a nice glass of wine with good company and preferably a delicious meal. I also enjoy champagne but can usually only handle one class of champs. I am the same person with or without alcohol but others don't always see this. If I do venture out to a bar and order a water people tend to mock and comment which is probably why this was one of the more difficult insecurities to overcome. But now, I have happily and publicly declared my distaste for alcohol.
I go to bed really early.
Really, I could be a grandma sometimes. Fortunately, I have a lot to do when I come home but if it wasn't for that never ending to do list, I would probably venture to bed by 8:00 PM every night. Happily.
I don't make the greatest first impression.
I really do try with this one but majority of the time, it just doesn't happen. I tend to be more quiet and standoffish and therefore come off as cold and impolite. I do make an effort to improve this but I've accepted the reality that it just takes time.
I say obnoxious things.
Thankfully, I tend to only say these things around my closest friends. I have my theory on being allergic to vegetables, my plans to be a stay at home, my dreams of being the First Lady (although some don't think I would be very good at this), the lavish 30th Birthday party I've planned for myself if I am unmarried, and sadly, the list goes on.
I'll say it. I love social media "likes." I've gotten better, but I have been known to obsess over an Instagram post and count the likes as they come in. I used to delete a photo if I did not receive a certain amount of likes in a given window of time but have since overcome that insecurity. So please, if you follow me on Insta, go ahead, give it that double tap!
My Henry voice.
This is probably one of my defining uniquties. I have a voice I use when imitating Henry. He can't say his Rs. Its annoying to some but I love it. I think Henwy enjoys it toooo.
I rarely read books.
Reading was never my best subject. Growing up, I always preferred to play math practice. Thanks Mom for making me think school work was a normal play activity growing up. I just never took to reading and its something I can't get into. I read a lot. Online articles, journals, blogs, etc.. But actual books rarely happen. I am envious of those who read a lot and always want to read more, but I have way too many unfinished books on my iPad.
My faith is a large part of who I am but something I rarely speak about. I am involved in my church and attend regularly (not as often as I should) but I consider my relationship with Christ to be my most deeply personal and intimate relationship so I have a really difficult time sharing.
Ok, this post turned out much longer than I anticipated. To read more about what I am thankful for (besides myself) check out this post!