I had a conversation recently with one of my few remaining single girl friends. (By few, I mean possibility the only remaining one.) Anyways, we were discussing the inevitable topic of relationships and the lack of their existence in our lives. Not that we don't necessarily get asked out on dates, but on the occasion that we do, we've built a single life for ourselves making it almost impossible to accept the offer. Recently, I was asked out to dinner and I checked my calendar and responded that I was available on Tuesday in two weeks after 8:30 PM and could maybe do something for an hour (hour and a half max) because I had to get up at 5:15 AM the next day for a run. Seriously? Who wants to date that? He agreed to the date but with my consistent scheduling of dates at odd times with time constraints, it fizzled.
I've always thought of myself as the single girl. Sure I've dated somewhat consistently but I've only had two boyfriends. One was long distance, the other lasted a month. Both were over five years ago. Not that I am complaining as I realize most of this is my own doing. I have extremely high expectations of my next boyfriend and usually stick with a couple month dating process that ultimately ends things if he ever sees me.
My other single friend and myself have built what I like to call our single lives. I've built a life for myself between my career, college program, fitness schedule, church class, blog and Henry that doesn't permit much time for the dating scene. If its one of the few weekends where I've remained in Charlotte without a visitor, my to do list is so lengthy that I don't find myself worrying about a date on Saturday night and am usually looking forward to a restful night in with Henry. Because of this overly planned schedule and single life, I make for a very difficult dating contendor.
I know the rebuttal and I've heard it before, when it's with someone you enjoy and care about, you don't feel the need to schedule and you find a way to make time. My issue with that is, one you have to first spend enough time with someone during the hour and a half of free time I have available every other week and be charming enough to do it consistently that you get to that point and two, I'm not sure I really have the time. Should I become unreliable on my commitments? Am I supposed to sacrifice on my eight hours of sleep per night and become Miss Cranky? Tell the girls, sorry can't help you apply to college tonight, I've got a date, good luck! Forget it first graders, no time for Jesus this week. Holly and Geoff, I will just stop working out. Stop writing blog posts?
I look to my friends who have consistently had boyfriends and are now seriously dating, engaged, or married and I compare their to life to ours (me and my long single friend) and I realize that difference lies in all of the other activities we involve ourselves in. (Not that my paired up friends don't do things with their lives. I love you.) We have unknowingly built this life that does't allow for dating. Should the right man come into my life, I don't have time to see him. I barely spend enough time with Henry during the week. (Side note: Not enough times with Henry results in pillows on the floor, unmade beds, and eaten books. Something I try to avoid.)
I don't really have a conclusion for this post. More just sharing my musings on the topic. I hope that one day, someone will come into my life who will find my busy scheduling and tendency to over commit myself endearing and be ever so willing to bear with me while I make time for them. For now, I will just keep living my single life that I've established for myself. If it's ok for Taylor Swift, I think I can swing it too.