I deeply value my friendships and will do anything for the ones I love. I do a good job of staying in touch with those who live in different places than me and love planning trips to visit them, host them in Charlotte, or meet somewhere in the middle to explore a new city together. Finding time to see each other can be difficult and I easily get my feelings hurt when I feel ignored by someone I call a friend. Why did she come to Charlotte and not tell me? I feel like I've been to her city a few times but she hasn't been to see my apartment that I have lived in for almost two years. Why did I have to find out about this major life event through social media? Why am I always the one calling her? I know, I can be overly sensitive. I think as an only child, I place a higher value on my friendships at times and can be a bit high with my expectations.
Even with my neediness, I have managed to build some truly incredible friendships. I've had some friends for more than fifteen years and others for only a few years. I value them all the same. I am thankful I have friends who I can call on, who inspire me, who challenge me, and ultimately all make me want to be a better person. Some I talk to in some capacity every single day and others we can go a few months without speaking but when we pick up the phone or see each other, its as if time had never passed.
I have had a few not so great friendships. Since I am someone who doesn't make friends easily, I have a hard time letting friendships go. There are some that go more naturally, time passes and you fade apart. But unlike the ones mentioned above, when you pick up the phone to reconnect the calls go unanswered and when you casually see them you are ignored. Other friendships, like some bad relationships, need to be ended. These are the ones that are toxic. They don't lift you up. They are difficult to maintain and the effort is not worth it. Sometimes, a friend hurts you in some way and you can't move pass it. These ones are hard for me because I don't like letting friends go, but sometimes, you have to. Just like breaking up in a relationship, sometimes you have to have a breakup in a friendship to avoid the unanswered calls and awkward run ins. Its better to disconnect from them on social media so you aren't reminded of the negativity that they brought into your life and thats OK. Sometimes, people are brought into your life for a purpose and they aren't meant to stay for a long time but they serve their purpose while they are there.
This post is for all of my friends. The ones who read the blog daily even though they have no interest in blogs. The ones who spend hours taking pictures of me for my outfit posts. The ones who let me call them and talk about nothing every day on my way home. The ones who put up with my often insensitive commentary regarding their style choices. The ones who have listened to me complain about the same problems and challenges repeatedly. The ones who I am able to share my deepest desires and aspirations with and know I won't be judged. The ones who wake up with me at 5:15 AM to run. The ones who agreed to record a demo with me in a recording studio. The ones who made it through my phase of playing MTV VJ and filming ourselves while always making myself better than them for countless hours on end. The ones who love Oreos & wine as much as I do. The ones who've helped me push people off stage while perfecting my Mariah Carey karaoke routine. The ones who listen me to speak in my Henry voice for hours on end. No matter how long or little I've known you, I am thankful for each of you in my life.