I enjoy reading blogs and felt so connected to so many woman through their blogs, that I decided to start one myself. However, as with any form of social media, it can be difficult to not play the comparison game. I find myself looking at other blogs and thinking my apartment doesn't look like that. Why isn't my closet that large? I would love to be able to afford a constant flow of Le Mer face cream. That Caribbean vacation looks fun, why don't I go on spontaneous mid-week trips to the Caribbean? Ohh, I love that top! Wait, it cost more than $300, never mind. And when you are like me, and constantly surround your self with only a piece of other's lives (their personal blogs and Instagram accounts) there is more to their story that I am not taking into consideration. It's not fair to compare their blog to mine. My blog is not my full time job and while I would love to post a professionally photographed outfit of myself everyday, that is not feasible.
As I was beginning to feel down on myself from reading other's blogs, I started to think about what if I was having the same effect on someone else. What if I was coming across as look at these overly priced shoes I bought and this trip to Africa I just took and these dresses I am currently craving that are all over $500. While, I do spend too much on shoes and I love a good trip, it has never been my intention to make others feel lesser of themselves by comparing their lives to mine.
I leave out the details about how hard I worked to afford those shoes and how many times I had visited the store and thought about the shoes and tried them on before actually purchasing. I don't share much on how I saved for months for Africa but still have debt on my credit card from all of the unexpected shots and allergic reactions to said shots in preparation of my trip. I will occasionally purchase an expensive outfit, but its not without much thought and consideration to my purchases.
When I think of my life and this blog and what I want it to be, I never want to portray myself in a way so that others could perceive it as inauthentic. While I've never had younger siblings nor wanted them (aside from bossing Krista around our entire lives - love you) I've always wanted to be a positive role model to others. I want to be someone who others feel that they can look up to. Someone who challenges others to be the best possible version of themselves which is what I pray to do each day with my life.
As I attempted a few blog posts on what I was currently craving shopping wise, I stopped myself realizing that yes, I would like those obnoxiously priced articles of clothing, but no, I was not willing to spend an insane amount of money on them and didn't want to appear as if that was my life.
I'm not sure I've done the best at articulating myself on this post, but my point is to say that recently, I have found blogging difficult. I was comparing myself to others and seeing the effect it had on me which lead me to wonder if I was writing in a way that let others feel the same way about themselves. We all play the comparison game and social media (as lovely as it is) has only intensified the effect on us all. You used to have to run into the Joneses to play keep up, but now, with social media, you can try to keep up with Joneses from the comfort of your very own home.
I have nothing against the bloggers who post their professional quality photos of themselves in their expensive outfits before returning to their perfectly decorated home from their mid week vacation to the most desirable locations. Yes, I will continue to read. However, I realize that is not my life, nor will it be anytime in my foreseeable future. (Or probably, ever.) So, in recognition of this, I hope to return to regular postings around here and do my very best for true authenticity. Please feel free to remind me of this if my head goes back into the clouds a bit.