Thursday, June 22, 2017

Recent Articles

Tonight, I have zero motivation to pack so I thought my time would be better spent writing a blog posts than sharing snaps of my lack of effort on my Instagram story. My bins arrived on Monday and so far, I have packed the living room, the foyer, and two hallway closets. Somehow, I hit the NYC closet lottery and currently have the equivalent of six closets. In Nashville, I'll be going down to two (both in the bedroom) so I am a bit worried about my storage and my accumulation of junk over the years therefore, I am trying to eliminate while packing. I'm at the phase where the novelty has worn off and if the fairies wanted to show up at any moment and pack my apartment for me, I'd gladly let them in. (Monica Gellar would work as well.)


On to tonight's post. I've read quite a few articles recently that I've enjoyed and thought I would share them here.

Katie Burke's Career Profile on The Everygirl 
I read almost everything from The Everygirl but I particularly loved Katie's advice to her 23-year old self. "Run your own race. Don’t measure your life as it relates to others, personally and professionally. And, enjoy it all — the cramped apartments, the late nights at the office, the dance parties, the long marathon training runs, the dates that don’t work out, the dates that do, the trips you take, the things that don’t quite go your way, and the fumbles you make along the way — they are teaching you more than you know." While this advice could always resonate with me, it particularly does now related to my move. I crave routines and predictability and the last few weeks have been tough with a flexible school schedule and extra time spent planning for the move. I easily get bogged down with the logistics and to-do lists and can become frustrated with everything but I'm trying to push myself to "enjoy it all." I play music while packing. I soak in the sights, sounds, and smells (unfortunately) on my daily walks around the city and have been taking detours to frequent some of my favorite spots. Instead of declining invitations, I'm saying yes to lunches, after school drinks, and walks through the park. This crazy- yet endearing- city will soon be a vacation destination and I want to savor the moments of my time here. 

Professional Praise Article on HBR 
I don't innately deliver praise and I rarely give compliments. In Charlotte, I actually worked with my therapist on being more likable at work. One of the techniques we practiced to make people feel more comfortable around me, was to give compliments. Yes, I had to role play giving a compliment. After much practice, I carefully chose my moment and decided to shout across the room to a co-worker that I liked their dress while she was doing dishes so naturally she couldn't hear me and the whole conversation was 1,000% awkward. Personally, I care more to hear about where I can improve as opposed to what I did well so on a team, I am quick to point out our flaws instead of noticing the strengths. I enjoyed this article because it pushed me on thinking less selfishly and how I want feedback, but to think more about who I am working with and how they would like to receive feedback. My Graduate Assistantship has a leadership component and I want to be mindful (particularly in the beginning) of giving more praise and establishing relationships. 

My So-Called (Instagram) Life on Modern Love 
I've always loved the Modern Love articles. I stumbled across this one today and identified so much with the writer's experiences. I'm not necessarily worried about my brand on social media but more so understood her desire to be "cool" or "laid back" in relationships so much so that actually hinders the relationship. All throughout the first dates, I'm incredibly self conscious (normal, I think) and overthink everything that I do and say. Even after a few months, I'm so focused on being removed and detached (at the fear of being denied) that I ultimately sabotage any relationship from happening. In my last "break-up" (can you call it that if you were never really together?) the guy told me I was too ambivalent. I specifically loved the blueprints, walls, and door analogy in the final paragraph. Now that I'm at least aware of this hindrance, perhaps I'll be better with the next one. To find out, I'll keep swiping. 

Before I return to packing (though I really don't want to) I have one final story story to delay the process. Today, I was on a walk through Central Park with my friend Alison when we stumbled upon a turtle on a busy pathway. He was clearly trying to find his way to safety but kept running into the fences around the lawns. Tourists were walking by and messing with the turtle so naturally, I felt charged to rescue the turtle. Seeing as I'm not 100% up to date on my turtle knowledge, we called the Central Park Volunteer hotline where I explained to them that I was on a path in Central Park and has come across a lost turtle. Quite the entertaining phone call where I learned that it is breeding season and many turtles wander far from the lake to lay their eggs. I was told to move the turtle to a grassy or wooded area and remove him (I guess it was a her if she was going to lay eggs?) from the crowded pathway. Naturally, I didn't necessarily want to touch the turtle but there was a willing tourist who carried the turtle to safety. Whew! Crisis averted and turtle life saved. 

Ok. Pack to packing!

xoxo,

Danielle


Thursday, June 15, 2017

Life: Two Week Countdown

I can't believe it. I'm down to my final two weeks in NYC. Only 10 days left of work. It's happening and I haven't packed a thing. Which leads me to a move update. Two weeks ago, I mentioned how stressful it was planning the moving logistics. Well, it didn't get any easier. After a few more hurdles, once I was ready to give up and hope that fairies would somehow magically transport all of my belongings from NYC to Nashville, I secured a plan that is carefully detailed in a page long Google Doc. Part of this plan and the reason I haven't packed a single coaster is that I'll be using reusable bins from Bin It that will be delivered on Monday. I'm excited about this mostly because I like to pretend I'm green and I think renting reusable bins meshes well with my Whole Foods persona but also it was significantly cheaper to rent bins than order boxes and have them delivered in NYC (yes, I made a Google Sheet for comparisons.)

Before I start bribing all my friends to a packing party filled with sparkling rose, I'm off to Charlotte for another wedding this weekend. I lived in Charlotte for four years after graduating from college and part of me always thinks of Charlotte as home. Yes, my parents house in Jacksonville is home home but I think of Charlotte as molding me into my independent self. I had such a strong community in Charlotte from my church to my TFA friends and though I know it wouldn't be the same (quite a few friends have moved away since I left) I would absolutely love to call Charlotte home again someday. (Here's a fun snap of me with the QC from that time I was featured on The Everygirl.)



A few things on my mind this week...

  • I really want to prioritize my fitness and healthy eating starting with my three week vacay in Jacksonville this summer. Its tough because I truly LOVE food and I honestly don't like vegetables but I'm hoping to have more time in Nashville that allow me to make a more conscious effort. The Everygirl posted this article and while there are certainly a few recipes I want to try, my main takeaway was that I should drink more champagnes since its the healthier, lower calorie option. 
  • I lost my glasses this week. I'm so upset because I never lose anything but I've searched the twelve block between my school and apartment frantically and prayed to St. Anthony countless times with no luck, so I have an eye doctor appointment before I leave. Kind of works out because I've been paying for vision insurance for the past two years and haven't used it at all so at least I'll be able to make something out of my $2 monthly deduction and I'll hopefully be able to stop squinting at my computer soon. I had my last frames for over three years so I'm excited to change it up a bit... wondering if I could pull these off
  • This may deserve it's own post but I absolutely LOVE Downward Dog on ABC. If you haven't watched it, I'm sure you could find all the episodes streaming or OnDemand somewhere and I promise it's worth the few hour binge. 
Have a lovely weekend!

xoxo,

Danielle 









Sunday, June 11, 2017

New York, New York

"If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere. It's up to you, New York, New York." When I was younger, I dreamed of living in New York City. When I was dropped off from school, I'd quickly turn on TRL and eagerly await for the shots of Times Square bustling with people underneath the glowing lights. My favorite TV shows, Friends and Gossip Girl, and favorite movie, You've Got Mail, are all set in New York. ShopGirl and NY152 definitely played a role in my attraction to living on the Upper West Side. And being the overachiever, type A personality that I am, I definitely believed in Sinatra that if I could make it here, I could make it anywhere.

Now, after two years of residency in NYC, I'd be willing move to a farm in rural America. Though, I'm not too sure how much help I'd be with the manual labor aspect of farm living and I'd certainly crave Starbucks and Whole Foods. Anyways ... Yes, New York was tough and far more difficult than I anticipated but I like to think that I made it here. That I'm not 100% defeated by this city and that I could continue to preserve if I wanted to. But, I don't have to and I'm so happy about moving to Nashville and progressing at a different pace.

I'm not a huge fan of life plans (day to day details, yes) but when I moved here, I anticipated staying longer. I remember during those first few months, I loved the diversity, the challenge, and the magic that is New York City. Even when I applied to grad school, I wasn't 100% sure I was ready to leave and thought that IF I was admitted, I could always defer. But from the moment that I received my acceptance, I knew, it was time to move on to the next chapter. Part of me wanted to stay and stick to my plan that I had created for myself but I knew I had to throw off my plan and listen to become who God was calling me to be. I feel good about Nashville. Better than I ever did about NYC and am excited (yet also a little anxious) about this upcoming transition.

I like to think that now, Manhattan is part of me just like Charlotte and Clemson and Mississippi and Montana. This city has played a role in shaping me to be who I am and for that, I'm grateful. As I prepare for this next chapter of my life, I wanted to capture what I love about New York City so I asked my friend, Margot, to take pictures of me and Henry in some of my favorite spots in Central Park. When I think of New York as home, I think of Central Park. I think of my walks with Henry every morning - espeically those in the deep winter when its still dark outside and we are both bundled in puffy coats. I think of training for the New York City Marathon where I would run in the park for 18 miles and though I was physically tired, my mind never stopped absorbing the beauty of Central Park. I think of all of the days where I didn't want to spend money so Henry and I would just grab a blanket and lay in the park and read and chew on sticks for hours. And all of the friends who have visited and journeyed with me on long walks through Central Park on our way to the Met. It's definitely where I've spent the most time and certainly home to me. Here are a few of my favorite snaps from Central Park with Henry and yes, I'll be recycling these on Instagram for weeks to come.







xoxo,

Danielle








Monday, June 5, 2017

Everything


First, thank you for reading my blog. When I started posting again, I wasn't sure who (if anyone) would check back but I've received many positive comments in the past week that I feel empowered to stick to my promise and to continue blogging. Now that I've skirted around it for a few posts, I think I should I address why I needed my break from blogging and many other things. 

This past year, I definitely overcommitted myself in wanting to take on everything. It started in the fall studying for the GRE and training for the New York City Marathon. Both were time intensive in terms of training and self discipline and certainly monopolized the little amount of free time I had on the weekends for socializing with friends. Additionally, work was insane and far more demanding than I anticipated. When I did college applications previously, I supported six girls and while I did this in addition to a full time job, it's much more simpler to manage six than sixty nine. On my specific caseload, I had forty three scholars and I thought that I could support them all with the same level of detail and attention that I had done with my six. Between editing essays line by line and writing recommendation letters, I mentally and emotionally exhausted myself. I'm incredibly urgent and efficient and while I think these are two of my strongest strengths, they can definitely be my weaknesses when I attempt to move full speed ahead for months at a time. On top of supporting scholars with their applications, I had my own to do and would often leave my essays for last. Once January rolled around and the notorious January 1st deadline had passed for both scholars and myself, I thought it would settle but thats when Henry became intensely ill. He was diagnosed with hip dysplasia last summer and while he had been on medicine for a few months, his body was suddenly reacting though we had no idea of the cause. For over a month straight, I came home knowing I would have to clean up vomit every single day. It was draining. I had to throw away rugs, bedding, and countless towels. It was incredibly frustrating but also so upsetting because I had no idea what was wrong with Henry or how to make him better and felt completely helpless for him. The only thing he would eat was homemade brown rice with chicken and broth but that was time extensive to make and again exhausting after coming home to clean up throw up. We went to the doctor quite a few times and often, I thought it was the end. As you can imagine, the medical bills pilled up on top of what was already a pretty decent amount of debt I had accumulated and I truly thought I had reached rock bottom swimming in this sea of responsibilities that I couldn't keep up with trying to tackle everything. 

I ended up taking some time off of work with the hope of prioritizing me and figuring out what I needed to do to swim back to the surface. I reached out to a different vet and started Henry on a new medicine. He's been easing on to it since late February and has been doing well thus far so fingers crossed, this is a solution. I came clean to my parents about my finances and mom created a very detailed budget for me that included a plan for paying off of my debt. I was accepted to my top choice for graduate school so all of the studying and late night applications certainly paid off. And though I'm still plowing ahead full force at school, I'm trying to limit myself to working hours and have been leaving promptly at 4:45 PM everyday. (Well, most days.) 

While I'm fiercely independent and have been trying to do everything all on my own since I was a child, the past few months have taught me how much I need others to support to me. Whether it was my parents helping me strategically plan to pay down my debt (not something you chat with friends about) or one of my friends answering my phone calls when I just wanted to sob about Henry, I don't have to do everything on my own. Because I'm single when most of my friends are either married, engaged, or in a long term relationship, I sometimes leave my blinders on and think that I don't have anyone to support me when in reality so I am surrounded by so many who are willing if I would simply open up and ask for the help. 

I share this because I want to share the good and the bad. I know I'm not the only one who goes through difficult times and often times, I think we all feel pressured to keep the struggles so tightly secured, that it can be liberating when we are honest and share how we are really doing. I desperately wanted to do everything and I wanted to do everything all by myself but the truth is, it's impossible and I needed others more than I needed to do everything. I'll leave you with this verse that I return to as a gentle reminder when I take on too much "What you are doing is not good... The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone." - Exodus 18:17-18

xoxo,

Danielle